Visualize This

Dear Congressman,

I was driving through your district the other day returning from a much needed trip to the grocery store when I pulled up behind a car waiting for the traffic device to convert to a color that would allow me to continue my journey without attracting the attention of the local constabulary. This vehicle, while neither a Saab nor a Volvo, did have a characteristic normally associated with those particular chassis types. On the lower left hand bumper it had a bumper sticker that stated proudly:

"Visual World Peace"

This was a very popular banner in the days before the Iraqi invasion, replaced now by American flags and "support our troops" yellow ribbon press-on decals. But it has one fundamental flaw that is best explained utilizing schoolyard grammar:

"Ain't never gonna happen"

Very direct, I know, but the sooner we realize this, the better. Conflict is just much more interesting then bliss. For instance, what happens on soap operas to couples that are in blissful situations? They split them up and make them sworn enemies, battling without mercy over child custody and/or shared lovers. Why was the TV show "Dallas" so popular in the late 70's? One reason: JR Ewing, the villain.

We simply thrive on conflict. I have stated for years that if we all dressed the same, wore the same clothes, drove the same cars, and smiled all the time (as some groups would have us do), then all the windows of all buildings on all the floors above the ground floor would have bars on them to prevent us from jumping to our deaths, as the majority of the human race would end up suicidal within a short period of time . Human nature abhors a vacuum, and it considers constant happiness a Hoover.

But hey, it is after all just human nature. Cause lets face it, if Bruce Willis had starred in "Live Soft" instead of "Die Hard", no one would have even showed up for the premier.

So get rid of the "Visual World Peace", and replace it with "Visual Global Non-lethal Conflict"