Redneck Geography

Dear Congressman,

I wanted to share parts of an email sent by a co-worker today, one with interesting trivia about world geography. However, after spending part of last Saturday in your district at the Trader's World flea market in Monroe, Ohio, I felt it would only be fitting if I gave predicted responses of some of the people I observed while at this wonderful bazaar.

Alaska
More than half of the coastline of the entire United States is in Alaska

"Huh... I was at the beach last summer & it was all in North Carolina, not half in Alaska"

Amazon
The Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that, more than one hundred miles at sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water out of the ocean.

"They must have a whole bunch a' hair dryers to dry off all them books they sell."

Canada
Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined.

"Then how come I keep seeing Canada Dry at the store?"

Chicago
Next to Warsaw, Chicago has the largest Polish population in the world.

"That splains why I couldn't understand anyone last time I was up north."

Damascus, Syria
Damascus, Syria, was flourishing a couple of thousand years before Rome was founded in 753 BC, making it the oldest continuously inhabited city in existence.

"I thought we already nuked 'em when Dick Cheney was President"

Istanbul, Turkey
Istanbul, Turkey, is the only city in the world located on two continents.

"My mother-in-law should live there, cuz she is in continent."

Los Angeles
Los Angeles' full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles

"I knew I was right! California is a Mexican State with an Australian governor."

Ohio
There are no natural lakes in the state of Ohio, every one is man made.

"I made a few myself after a night of drinking with the boys."

Sahara Desert
In the Sahara Desert, there is a town named Tidikelt, which did not receive a drop of rain for ten years.

"I should move there. Since the wipers on the truck rotted out, I ain't gotta change 'em"


Spain
Spain literally means 'the land of rabbits.

"Huh? I thought Spain was the planet that Mexicans came from? Must be covered in rabbits."

Texas
The deepest hole ever made in the world is in Texas. It is as deep as 20 empire state buildings but only 3 inches wide.

"Sounds a whole bunch like my double-wide."

United States
The Eisenhower interstate highway system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

"And here's me thinkin' all these years that that long straight patch was so I could take a long swig of beer without veering off the road!"


Waterfalls
The water of Angel Falls (the World's highest) in Venezuela drops 3,212 feet (979 meters). They are 15 times higher than Niagara Falls.

"Boseefus got somthin' from there last month and yup, it got all of us pretty high."