Why I hate looking for lawyers

Dear Congressman,

Since your background is not law I will take the liberty of using this forum to vent about something other than your six pack a day smoking habit.

Since the passing of my mother, I have spent copious amounts of time working on the probate of her estate. As part of this I am required to sell her condo, which is being fixed up as we speak and getting ready to go out on an already glutted Cincinnati real estate market.

As part of the probate process in Butler County, a certification is required that shows that the property deed for real property in Probate was examined by an attorney. Everything else a lay person can do, however an attorney must perform this task.

Since I have never had occasion to retain council, I broke out the old yellow pages and began the search for local attorneys that advertised handling probate matters. I found several, wrote down there information, and decided to make calls last Friday to see if I could have one perform the task in question.

The first one I contacted was a small local Hamilton Ohio firm that appears to practice in the area that was of my personal interest. Here is a transcript of that call. (the name of the firm has been changed to protect... well.... me!)

Receptionist at Law Firm: Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe, this is Claudette speaking, how can I direct your call?

Me: Good afternoon, I have probate matter that requires a filing of a document with the Probate Court by an attorney and wondered if .....

Claudette (cutting me off in mid sentence in a very icy tone): I'm sorry, we don't give out free legal advice over the phone. You will have to come in to meet with someone. Hold on, let me check next week's schedule.

(Hold music begins to play)

Claudette: Mr. Cheatem has an opening on Tuesday morning or Thursday afternoon.

Me: What time on Tuesday morning as I have to come up from the airport to...

Claudette: (again, not letting me fully finish my thought) that would be at 11:00am.

Me: No, I a meeting that I can't reschedule and by Thursday I was hoping to have this matter completed so I will have to decline. Good day.

Click.....