John Thain seems vain....

Dear Congressman,

John Thain, ex-CEO of the NYSE and more recently, the CEO of Merrill Lynch who handed his company over to Bank of America, got the axe yesterday from B of A chief Ken Lewis. Several factors were at play, with the main one being that Merrill Lynch was losing money faster than the Treasury Dept could print it, and certain disclosures on CNBC that he 1) paid his driver close to the NFL minimum rookie salary, 2) he handed out bonuses like candy to employees while booking a $15 billion loss with his left hand and negotiating with Mr. Lewis on the phone with his right.

But my favorite disclosure would have to be the $1.22 million he spent on decorating his office around the same time he was performing 1) and 2) above...

Lets look at the details, shall we?

1) $2,700 for six wall sconces. - Sounds like a lot of money for something that I have no clue what it is...

2) $5,000 for a mirror in his private dining room. - Obviously responds to the words "Mirror mirror on the wall, who the most handsome banker of them all?"

3) $11,000 for fabric for a "Roman Shade.” - Eleven large!!!! Was there a corresponding archeological dig to find the fabic in Southern Italy???

4) $13,000 for a chandelier in the private dining room. - A must have for any Fortune 500 CEO, after all, you must have proper lighting to make sure you don't get any caviar on your tie.

5) $15,000 for a sofa. - but hey, it was made with fine Corinthian leather....he couldn't pass that up....

6) $16,000 for a "custom coffee table.” - Made in Scandinavia, but kind of pricey for a Danish...

7) $18,000 for a “George IV Desk.” - for that kind of money you could go to St. George's Chapel in Windsor, dig up George IV's remains, and use them as a desk...

8) $25,000 for a "mahogany pedestal table.” - Okay, now we are wandering into the land of the clueless....

9) $28,000 for four pairs of curtains. - These are the curtains Melody bought for my home office. They cost about $20 US. You could buy 1400 sets of curtains, including the curtain rods, for the same price as Mr. Thain spent.

10) $35,000 for something called a "commode on legs.” - Sounds appropriate as he can walk it out with him when he leaves, so he can always hear that constant flushing sound of his company going down the drain.

11) $37,000 for six chairs in his private dining room. - Oh please...

12) $68,000 for a "19th Century Credenza" in his office. - hasn't he watched "Antiques Roadshow"???? He could get one for a bunch less if it didn't have the original patina!!!!

13) $87,000 for a pair of guest chairs. - I bet they are ejection seats so he could push a button and send his employees screaming to their deaths as they are propelled through the opening in the ceiling and down 20 stories to go splat on Vesey Street.

14) $87,000 for an area rug in Thain's conference room and another area rug for $44,000. - Did he by chance purchase these from Haliburton, because I am thinking there is just a bit of a mark up here

and finally ....

15) $800,000 to hire celebrity designer Michael Smith, who is currently redesigning the White House for the Obama family for just $100,000. - and Merrill Lynch expected him to be the company savior when the First Lady of the US can cut a deal at a 700% rate less then he could.....

And you wonder how we got where we are today.....