Ice Ice Baby

Dear Congressman,

The first major winter storm has now begun to wander its way across the middle of the US, as fellow blogger Scott Wheeler in Missouri already discussed in his blog this morning.

Your district was pelted with snow this morning, approximately 4-6 inches in most areas between 1am and 10am. After that we had a two hour break before sleet and freezing rain started to pelt anyone or anything exposed to the elements. This barrage has continued into the night, to be followed tomorrow morning by "heavy snow". Thus we have been exposed to worst that Mother Nature can unleash.

Since you have lived here for a good part of your life prior to deciding to fight liberals and lobbyists alike in Washington D.C., you are aware that this is the nightmare scenario for Cincinnati, as even an inch or two of snow is greeted as "the white death" with commuters panicking over the thought of spending the night upside down in a ditch undiscovered until the next day and citizens attacking grocery stores in droves to ensure they have enough milk, bread, toilet paper and beer to last until April.

But most of this you already know and are well acquainted with... what needs to be legislated into oblivion is the local news channels, as they sensational the storm into a frenzied visual assault of correspondents all across town. And invariably they all go like this:

Gleaming white teethed female broadcaster: And now we go to weekend anchor Joe Konu somewhere on the east side of town. Joe, can you hear me?

Joe (wrapped up like Nanook of the North standing next to a Dunkin Donuts): Yes, I can hear you, Leslie, I am here at the corner of Liberty at Taft and, as you can see behind me, the roads here are still passable but are completely covered by snow.

Gleaming white teethed female broadcaster: Can you let the viewers know how much snow, Joe?

Joe (whipping out a ruler): Yes Leslie, I can. (Joe leans down and plunges the ruler into the snow) As you can see there is at least 1/8 to 1/4 of an inch of snow already on the ground and no let up in sight.

Gleaming white teethed female broadcaster: Wow!

Joe (now turning toward road to show single passing car): Traffic here is picking up, Leslie, as we get deeper into the morning rush hour, and as it continues to come down we could see more and more accidents on the roads today.

Gleaming white teethed female broadcaster: What advice do you have for the morning commuters, Joe?

Joe :(furrowing his brow to give impression of seriousness) Well Leslie, you should give more time for your commute this morning, maybe seven or eight hours, and give the cars around you plenty of room, preferably one or two miles. Reporting live from the east side, this is Joe Konu,
action live local 12 news.