Please consult a physician

Dear Congressman,

Sorry about my recent absence from the blog, but between work and probate I had to take a few weeks off to catch up on life activities. Now back to the blog...

I am sure in D.C. when you are done stonewalling health care crazed democrats and tolerating ex-politicians turned grinning lobbyists you occasionally kick back in the office with a cold brew and a smoke while turning on the mindless drool-inducing content of television. And if you pay attention to the commercials there will invariably be a local doctor running his/her low budget commercial for his/her medical practice.

There is one ad that runs here in Cincinnati on a regular basis where the doctor in question talks about his qualifications, wearing that all calming white smock matched with an unnerving smile. I will not mention his name or specialty, as in today's litigious society I have no wish to spend money on a lawyer to defend my right to free speech, but this doctor has one characteristic that will ensure that I will never have need of his services (yes, he is a he)

In a nutshell, the doctor looks he could be either Siegfried or Roy. I personally am a Marcus Welby, MD kind of patient, wanting my doctor to look like he has had years of experience to impart wisdom but not so old as to argue with me about the benefits of bloodletting. However, I draw the line at having someone stand over me with a scalpel while I am drifting into an drug induced comatose state who sports a "business in the front, party in the back" hairdo and sounds like a poorman's Arnold, all the while being unsettled by the sound of tigers roaring just outside the door to the surgical suite.

Maybe I am just picky, but would you want to be operated on by a doctor who drums up business by running ads during The Simpsons or Southpark?