Monday, August 24, 2009

For more information, dial...

Dear Congressman,

This weekend my wife and I decided to drive into central Kentucky and go hiking at Natural Bridge State Park. It is only about 2 1/2 hours drive from Cincinnati and this time of year it is beautiful with the many shades of green that nature provides as scenery. However, a couple of notes:

The last 40 miles to the park are traveled on the Bluegrass Memorial Parkway, which until recently was titled Kentucky State Route 402. This leads to the question... why the name change to include "Memorial"? Did all the bluegrass in Kentucky die and no one bothered to make a press release? As Kentucky is the "Bluegrass State", I think it would have been headline news in the local papers if this was the case, but not word one when I googled it.

Also, on three separate occasions we came across a sign before a bridge announcing that we were crossing the Red River. Now the first two times I saw the sign I thought "gee... quite a winding river!". But the third time in 10 miles I start to think. "Okay, they must be different rivers and the inhabitants of this county are so unoriginal that they named every creek, brook, stream, or puddle the "Red River". Fortunately, we arrived at our exit before a fourth occurrence of the "Red River" phenomena, otherwise I would have started to question my own sanity.

Lastly, they had numerous signs on the highway that boasted you could tune to a certain AM wavelength for traffic and/or tourist information. I would be exaggerating if I said I saw more than 30 cars during the entire 40 miles on the "Bluegrass Memorial Parkway". As I did not tune into the information on this AM station I can only imagine what they would be reporting on, but hey, it's my blog, so here is my best guess.

(sound of background static normally association with AM radio)
Hi travelers and welcome to Parkway radio, your guide to the pathway to the Kentucky Natural Bridge and destinations beyond. I'm Ranger Smith and first up is Bob Meeker with the daily buzzard report. Bob?

(voice in a barely understandable local drawl) Hey Ranger, the last report shows a large group hovering near the intersection of Rabid Raccoon Run and Possum Tail Trail so I gotta figure there's somethin' dead in the area. Back to you.

Thanks Bob, and now it is time for "Cookin' with Cooki". What's today's dish Cooki?

(voice in a barely understandable female local drawl) Well bless you, Ranger Smith and say hello to that wonderful mama of yours for me when you go home tonight! As for today's dish, I just got off the phone with Joe Beau Bob and he beat the buzzards to the roadkill that Bob Meeker was tracking so it looks like we'll be serving Pooch Pie Stew tonight at the diner. Come on down and have a bowl while we got it! Oh, yeah, and condolences to Jenni Mae on the loss of her beloved pet bloodhound "George". Back to you, dear.

Thanks Cooki. Sounds like good eatin' tonight at the Bucksnort Diner!

1 comment:

gcharrison22 said...

Very funny!!! The critics are slobbering all over themselves trying to be the first to say they reviewed your blog when it was just a wee blog barely noticed in the blogosphere...