Off Off Off Broadway

Dear Congressman,

Glad to hear you are on break so you do not have to sneak out the back of the Capitol Building for a quick smoke, as you can now just plunk down in your humble abode and puff away.

For your entertainment, I did some research on the upcoming Broadway season in New York. It appears that besides the main theaters and the off Broadway shows, there is now a new arena for shows that big producers turned down but the littler backers are willing to give some dosh. You probably will not see any advertising for these shows due their limited budgets, but here are the ones I found out about so far.

Sophie's Choice
A musical comedy based on the book by William Styron, have a grand evening as you, Stingo, Nathan and Sophie interact while slurring their words to everyone's amusement. Laughter continues with the audience participation act, where you get to choose for Sophie which child lives or dies, and then based on their reactions to her retelling of the tale, you decide who commits suicide in the final act.

Chuck Norris, the Musical
The producers claim this show is so entertaining that it will leave you in stitches. From what the script outlays, this is probably the case as the show involves cast members randomly roaming the audience and beat the crap out of any spectator who looks like they need a good ass-kicking. Songs adapted for the extravaganza include the Carl Douglas 70's classic "Kung Fu Fighting" and Kid Rock's anthem "American Bad Ass".

Cherry Pie
Break out the spandex and hair crimper as 80's metal takes it's turn on the stages of New York. Take a stroll down memory lane to the days of Reagan and Thatcher as actors accurately portray the decadence of drug use, womanizing, and general debauchery that was the Metal Era. You'll laugh... you'll cry... you'll wonder how many venereal diseases the band member contracted.

Michael
Can't get enough of Michael Jackson? Well neither can his other fans, or his family's deep love and respect of his world renowned name, as Jackson Productions presents the spectacular "Michael, the Jackson Family officially authorized Tribute to the Greatest Entertainer Ever". A guaranteed dandy of a show with the commitment from the Jacksons that at least one family member will be in the cast every night of the production. Also, two lucky fans per night who cough up the $35 for the official "Michael, the Jackson Family officially authorized Tribute to the Greatest Entertainer Ever" programme will be delirious to discover that Michael's father, Joe Jackson, has had his assistant personally sign them!!!