A Roof over our heads....

Dear Congressman,

Several months ago my roof developed a small leak that stained the ceiling in the corner of my kitchen. After checking to make sure I did not have a mold problem, I decided it was time to put a new roof on my house.

I bought my home 12 years ago, and at that time I was aware that three years before that the seller had re-tiled over the top of the original roof, thus having two layers of shingles guarding Melody and I on a nightly basis.

However, the problem comes in with the original tiles below becoming brittle and the tar paper basically dissolving into dust. Unlike a single layer, this "quick fix" will only put off the inevitable need for a replacement roof within 10 to 15 years. Alas, that time had come.

My son in law, with some financial incentive, agreed to take a three day weekend and help me to put on the roof. We went to Lowes on a Wednesday night last Wednesday and bought about $27oo of roofing materials to accomplish the job. Fortunately, as a Union Ironworker and all around handyman, he pretty much had all the tools necessary for completion of the task. Plus, we hired two of his friend to help for the weekend.

Here is what I have learned from the last three days.

1. All male high school juniors (16-17 year old) need to spend at least two weeks in during their summer vacation before either their junior or senior year stripping and then re-tiling a couple of roofs. This will guarantee that the amount of males enrolling in college or trade school multiply exponentially in attempts to avoid a lifetime of roofing or similar back-breaking work.

2. Anyone who decides to put a second layer of shingles on a roof without removing the original layer first should be required to personal get up on the roof and remove both layers single handed. It is amazing what scrapping off and then hauling to a dumpster over 2 tons of roof will do to manipulate financial decisions.

3, A law needs to be passed by Congress to require that a single bundle of shingles be cut in half so the weight of the aforementioned package is decreased from 80lbs (36.3kg) to 40lbs (18.15kg). After spending 1 1/2 days removing and hauling several tons of roofing debris and then laying down tar paper, the 1 hour session of hauling an additional ton of shingles 80lbs at a time can prove to be a life altering event.

That's about it. As I write this I am in recovery mode, however we still have about 1/2 a day of work left to finish the job, as the highest point of my house is still tar paper over plywood.

Oh, and by the way, if there is a hell, then it has a company call Lucifer's Roofers, where middle aged white executives spend all eternity roofing while supervised by hispanic immigrants who play cards all day....