Dead (end) JOB....

Dear Congressman,

I recently saw this story on the AP wire and just wanted to share....

The unemployment rate may top 10 percent, but there is an opening at the University of California, Santa Cruz, for a Deadhead. The library is advertising for an archivist to handle the library's Grateful Dead collection. A master's degree in archives management is required, as is "expert knowledge in the history of and scholarship of contemporary popular music, or American vernacular culture, preferably the history and influence of the Grateful Dead.
So let's help the library with its search. What questions would you ask at the interview?


What questions would I like to ask at the interview? Hmmm..... lets take a shot at that, shall we?

1. How much weed can you smoke before it affects your work?

2. As part of the job duties, you will be required to be able to distinguish between Panama Red Brick, Southeastern Lebanon Blond Cake, Taos Vibrating Purple, and Santa Clara Brown Bonestoner hashish. How would you proceed?

3. Some of the papers in the collection may include sheets of blotter acid or left over LSD from the 1983 Bakersfield Concert in the Park. Do you have a high tolerance level for hallucinigenics and their many unusual effects?

4. Have you ever suffered from mild to moderate phases of paranoia? If not, are you open to the idea?

5. The University is not a bottomless pit of money, so would you be willing to outline your minimum caloric requirements for when you suffer from the munchies.....

6. Are you experienced with the symptoms of overdosing? In a pinch, would you be able to coach a co-worker through an ice bath and/or use a cardiac needle on them or potential yourself?

and finally

7. UC Santa Cruz promotes and encourages a drug-free work environment. Are you willing to sneak your stash into the office using orifices usually reserved for other bodily functions?