Your papers please.....

Dear Congressman,

Yesterday I was humbly eating my soup and sandwich in the work lunchroom while the busniess channel, CNBC, was playing on the television mounted in the corner nearest the window. As I ate and half-heartedly gazed at the TV, a commercial came on for a luxury automobile company. That made sense to me because luxury automobile companies probably get most of their sales from people who tend to watch CNBC. I was only watching because nine days out of ten the television is left on that channel by someone who came in early in the morning and selected it. The other day it was on Fox News, as someone here in the office is a fan of that network and likes to put on their programming.

But I digress....

At the end of this luxury car commercial they urged you to buy their product from "an authorized dealer near you". Now this begs the question: is their a network of unauthorized dealers out there that I have to be careful of??? Do they make unauthorized version of your cars out of cardboard and foam and then try to push them off onto an unsuspecting public? If you have such a problem with unauthorized dealers, why not make a commercial about that for consumer protection purposes.

For instance:

Hi, this is John Walsh for Mercedes Benz. Lately, some of our potential customers have been scammed by unscrupulous dealers selling vehicles under the Merkades Bense label and trying to pass them off as the real thing.


Here are some things to look for in your buying experience.


If the dealership is housed in a double-wide trailer with the Merkades Bense sign instead of Mercedes Benz, then it is in all probability an unauthorized dealer.


Also, if they require you to buy the car before you are allowed to drive one, then they are an unauthorized dealer. Once purchased, if they then state they will personally deliver you vehicle to your home later that day as a free service, again.. .they are most likely an unauthorized dealer.


Additionally, if you come back later in the day because the car never showed up and the dealership appears to have vanished, there is a high probability that they are an unauthorized dealer. Another tip off will be that after you return home from the second visit to the dealership you find that your house was burgled and your dog/cat was kidnapped. This is a major tip-off that you went to an unauthorized dealer.


So remember, double-wide, no test driving, disappearing lots, and home robbery are all signs that you have not been to an authorized Mercedes Benz dealership.


This is John Walsh, hoping you have a happy car shopping experience.