OMG! BOSA!

Dear Congressman,

You have probably noticed that when your younger assistants and pages are not at your beck and call that they are all furiously typing into their cellular devices sending messages back and forward to each other. Needless to say, every time you sneak out the back of the Capitol Building for a quick smoke, half of the congressional staff are aware that you are out their destroying your lungs withing 20 seconds of you lighting up.

How do they do that, you ask? Through the ingenious use of shorthand and acronyms. I have provided you a handy dandy listing courtesy of the people at Netlingo.

BTW- OMG! BOSA! stands for "Oh my goodness! Boehner's outside smoking again!"

AAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse
ACORN - A Completely Obsessive Really Nutty person
ADIH – Another Day In Hell
ADIP -Another Day In Paradise
AIAMU - And I'm A Monkey's Uncle
ALOTBSOL - Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
AMRMTYFTS - All My Roommates Thank You For The Show
ATAB - Ain't That A Bitch
AYSOS - Are You Stupid Or Something
AYTMTB - And You're Telling Me This Because
BBFBBM - Body By Fisher, Brains By Mattel
BHAG - Big Hairy Audacious Goal
BHIMBGO - Bloody Hell, I Must Be Getting Old
BIOYE - Blow It Out Your Ear
BITCH - Basically In The Clear Homey
BOB - Battery Operated Boyfriend
BSBD&NE - Book Smart, Brain Dead & No Experience
BTDTGTS - Been There, Done That, Got The T-shirt
Cof$ - Church of Scientology
CRAFT - Can't Remember A F***ing Thing
CRAP - Cheap Redundant Assorted Products
DILLIGAD - Do I Look Like I Give A Damn
DORD - Department Of Redundancy Department
DWWWI - Surfing the World Wide Web while intoxicated
EMRTW - Evil Monkey's Rule The World
ESO - Equipment Smarter than Operator
FILTH - Failed In London, Try Hong Kong
FLUID - F***ing Look it Up, I Did
FMTYEWTK - Far More Than You Ever Wanted To Know
FYSBIGTBABN - Fasten Your SeatBelts It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night
G2GLYS - Got To Go Love Ya So
GSYJDWURMNKH - Good Seeing You, Just Don't Wear Your Monkey Hat
HBASTD - Hitting Bottom And Starting To Dig
IANADBIPOOTV - I Am Not A Doctor But I Play One On TV
IANNNGC - I Am Not Nurturing the Next Generation of Casualties
IDGARA - I Don't Give A Rats Ass
IEF - It's Esther's Fault
IIABDFI - If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It
IIIO - Intel Inside, Idiot Outside
IITYWIMWYBMAD - If I Tell You What It Means Will You Buy Me A Drink
ILICISCOMK - I Laughed, I Cried, I Spat/Spilt Coffee/Crumbs/Coke On My Keyboard
IMHEIUO - In My High Exalted Informed Unassailable Opinion
IWBAPTAKYAIYSTA - I Will Buy A Plane Ticket And Kick Your Ass If You Say That Again
JUADLAM - Jumping Up And Down Like A Monkey
LDIMEDILLIGAF - Look Deeply Into My Eyes, Does It Look Like I Give A F***
LDTTWA - Let's Do The Time Warp Again
LOMBARD - Lots Of Money But A Right Dick
MTSBWY - May The Schwartz Be With You
NIGYYSOB - Now I've Got You, You Son Of a B*tch
NTTAWWT - Not That There's Anything Wrong With That
NYCFS - New York City Finger Salute
OMIK - Open Mouth, Insert Keyboard
ONNTA - Oh No, Not This Again
OSINTOT - Oh Sh** I Never Thought Of That
OTASOIC - Owing To A Slight Oversight In Construction
P2C2E - Process Too Complicated Too Explain
PDOMA - Pulled Directly Out Of My Ass
PEBCAC - Problem Exists Between Chair And Computer
PITMEMBOAM - Peace In The Middle East My Brother Of Another Mother
PMIGBOM - Put Mind In Gear Before Opening Mouth
PNATMBC - Pay No Attention To Man Behind the Curtain
PTPOP - Pat The Pissed Off Primate
RTH - Release The Hounds
RUMCYMHMD - Are You on Medication Cause You Must Have Missed a Dose
SAPFU - Surpassing All Previous Foul Ups
SITCOMs -Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage
SLOM - Sticking Leeches On Myself
SUFID - Screwing Up Face In Disgust
SWALBCAKWS - Sealed With A Lick Because A Kiss Won't Stick
TANSTAAFL - There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
TEOTWAWKI - The End Of The World As We Know It
TSRA- Two Shakes of a Rat's Ass
URAPITA - You Are A Pain In The Ass
WOMBAT - Waste Of Money, Brains And Time
WTHOW - White Trash Headline Of the Week
YRYOCC - You're Running on Your Own Cookoo Clock
YYSSW -Yeah Yeah Sure Sure Whatever