Famous words you never got to hear

Dear Congressman,

One of the problems with history is that, generally speaking, there is a requirement that an eyewitness or third hand chronicler record exactly what happened and who said what. I am confident that over the numerous events of the history of man and womankind we have missed out on some statements and/or explanations that would bring clarity to the affair. In most cases, such as in warfare, history is written by the victor, thus robbing us of some potentially incisive understand of the events that occurred.

So, here are some not so famous words that you did not get to hear.


"Oh.. okay... when would you like to start? I can give you about an hour.. tops..." The undocumented response of Captain Richard Pearson of the HMS Serapis to John Paul Jones on the USS Bonhomme Richard on 23 September 1779.







"Francois? be a good boy and get the cakes from the main warehouse for the good people of Paris. Francois? Francois? where are you?" Marie Antoinette in July 1789, unheard query of her assistant as all royal court attendants ran to see a demonstration of the latest in powdered wigs across the room.






"What the $%&$#! Are you high or something?" Spoken by Chris Berman on September 28, 2003 after cameras cut to commercial on ESPN's "NFL Countdown" after Rush Limbaugh made comments regarding quarterback Donovan McNabb that led to his resignation several days later.

"Yes maam, Mrs. Earhart. I will let everyone know that you crash landed at those co-ordinates and send out a rescue party right away!" Tarawa amateur short wave radio operator Merv Gleeson, right before suffering a massive heart attack, falling on top of his radio equipment and destroying it. Merv was not discovered for eight days due to the monthly supply ship arriving that morning in Betio with enough booze to keep the population soused for a week, which they were.





"These sailors are not well. Lets take them to the town center to get them help." Spoken by three dock worker in the Sicilian port of Messina in the spring of 1347.




"Sir.... excuse me good sir... wait... you dropped something..." The last words of Wesley Morton Sneed in October of 1888 as he tried to give a damp knife back to a man in a cloak on a dark street corner in the Whitechapel district of London.