Expecting...

Dear Congressman,

As I sit here typing, Melody is watching a very educational show entitled "Inside Edition". If you ever wondered what happened to Deborah Norville after she left the network morning shows, I can testify that she seems to have landed on her feet and appears to be doing just fine.

But I digress....

One of the stories they led with on this broadcast was that John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston were expecting a baby. After tragically losing their teenage son Jett in January 2009, it was good to hear that they are still committed to each other and their family.

Then comes the irritating part...

They cut to a photo of John and Kelly taken last weekend, where Kelly was wearing a black loose-fitting dress, as they phrased it, to hide her "baby bump".

Baby bump... who came up with this lame-ass term? What the hell was so wrong with saying the words "pregnant" or "expecting" that we had to come up with baby bump. It sounds too much like speed bump to be taken seriously as a proper use of the English language.

Lets face it, it rolls off the tongue like a fur lined sandwich. Instead, why not come up with another useless but less annoying term, such as pregnancy paunch, knocked-up knot, bun-in-the-oven barrel, dead rabbit rise, up-the-duff distention, the jaggy jut, anticipation appendage, expectant excrescence, parturient protuberance, in-utero intumescence, obstetric outthrust, pre-natal protrusion, pudding club promontor, brood-mare mass, gestation gibbosity, replete roll or teeming tuberosity.

Anything but baby bump.....