Since today is St. Patrick's day and everyone in the US pretends they are of Irish descent while wearing green clothing and drinking insane amounts of beer, I thought it would be appropriate to present something Irish for your entertainment.
So, without further delay, here is a summary of a story written by an Irishman
Episode 1: Stephen: “You suck, Buck!”
Episode 2: Stephen: “You’re making me queasy, Deasy.”
Episode 3: Stephen (to himself): “I miss my mom…life was different in Paris… I got a great idea for a poem!... Boy, I gotta pee.”
Episode 4: Leopold: “Here’s breakfast and a letter from Milly, Molly. Excuse me while I go make number two.”
Episode 5: Leopold: “I wish that damn tram would get out of the way!”
Episode 6: Leopold: “Paddy was a good man, but do you realize you have a dent in your hat?”
Episode 7: Read all about it! Read all about it! Leopold and Stephen are in newspaper office at same time and don’t talk to each other! Read all about it!
Episode 8: Leopold: “I’m hungry… those people are disgusting… Venus has a nice ass…what the hell does that postcard mean?...oh crap! There’s Boylan”
Episode 9: Stephen: “Shakespeare’s wife liked to do it” Buck: “So does Leopold, except I think with you.”
Episode 10: A bunch of folks wandering through Dublin… nothing to see here….
Episode 11: Leopold: “Good dinner, but what the Blazes?”
Episode 12: Citizen: “Leopold , you are a %(@#%&#$ jew!” Leopold: “I’m outta here!”
Episode 13: Leopold: “Oh lord, she is so hot!” Gerty: “He is kind of hot in a sad way!”
Episode 14: Leopold: “Is it a boy? A girl? Or a history of English prose?”
Episode 15: Leopold: “Am I in a brothel…nah… it must be a bad dream… come on Stephen., lets get out of here before the walls melt again.”
Episode 16: Leopold & Stephen (singing) : “What do you do with a drunken sailor!”
Episode 17: Leopold: “If ya gotta piss, mind the dog!”
Episode 18: Molly: “Make your own breakfast!... What should I wear to Belfast?... I wonder how you spell metempsychosis?...I am really bored….I wonder where Lieutenant Mulvey is now?... Is Milly a younger me?.... Does Stephen like me?.... I guess I still love Leopold….
The end
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